Raising Private
by Red Sova
Summary: Humanized! Private's Mother, a rouge MI6 Agent, didn't leave Private with Nigel but rather an old friend. How will Private handle life as the son of Penguin Enemy Number One? And what happens when Super Secret Agent Nigel learns the truth about his arch nemesis' child. Fem!Red
1. Chapter 1

Red held the infant to her as she stared helplessly at where her old friend had just been. This had to be a bad attempt at some joke she obviously didn't understand. There was no way that Luna Tux handed Red her child with all the legal forms to make Red the infant's gaurdain. The baby shifted causing Red to hold it a bit closer in fear of dropping it.

...Him.

...Private.

Private, what a strange name but who was Red to judge. Maybe it was a British thing?

Or maybe it was just a Luna thing?... Yeah, that made more sense. "Well, Private. It's just you and me now." Penguin Enemy Number One with a Penguin child. This could only end in a disaster.

Private Age: 4 months

Red gave a soft groan as share was woken from her five minute nap by loud 'I'm-being-murdered' screaming. Trudging out of her bed, Red made her way to the blue crib nearby and picked up the child. "Sshhh. Shh. It's okay Private. I'm here now." She bounced the infant in her arms and was rewarded by screams turning into soft whispers. A grumble left the child causing Red to sigh. How much could a child eat? Where did it all go? It was like the child was a giant stomach! A whimper drew Red from her thoughts and back to Private. Sighing, Red made her way towards the kitchen. "Sshhh, Mommy's going to get you food now." Anything to stop the crying and maybe- if she's lucky- get some real sleep for a change.

Private Age:1

Red smiled softly as Private drifted to sleep to that annoying horned horsey theme song. Maybe, just maybe she could tolerate these Lunacorns. Especially if they managed to help Private sleep soundly.


	2. Chapter 2

Private Age:1 1/2

Red swore she was going to have a heart attack at the rate things were going. Somehow Private had gotten into her lab, despite her locking the door earlier, and was crawling all over the place with far too many close calls for Red's taste. Red paled as Private lifted a half complete device and began to bang it onto the work station's top. How did he even get up there? And why of all things did he have to pick up **that**? "No, no, Private. That's not a toy. Now please hand Mommy the bomb."

Private Age:2

A sense of pride filled Red as she crouched down with a large smile splitting her face. "That's it. You can do it, Private. Come to mommy." The small blond toddler waddled towards the villain as best as he could on shaky legs. "Come on. You can do it." After a few more steps the toddler stumbled causing Red to lunge forward and grab the toddler before he could fall. "There's Mommy's little Angel." Standing, Red twirled on spot causing Private to bust into joyful giggles.

Private Age:2 1/2

Sharp, owl-like eyes moved from Red to Private then back to Red causing the villain to shift nervously. "Explain, now." A voice smooth as velvet ordered. Red tightened her hold on Private as she took a calming breath. She could do this. "Count, meet your grandson: Private."

Thud!

Red blinked in disbelief as she stared at the downed figure of her mentor. Count Victor von Siva, The Mad Owl and Former Penguin Enemy Number One, had fainted. Red's gaze moved onto Private, who was giggling. "Well, that went better than I expected."

Private Age:3

"Ma!" Red and the Count froze before both looked down at the beaming toddler. "Did he just-" Red cut off as the Count nodded. "Ma!" The toddler repeated causing Red to grin like an idiot. "He spoke! He said' Ma'! Quick, where's the camera?!" Private laughed loudly while clapping his hands as Red ran around trying to find the camera.


	3. Private Age:4

Private Age:4

Soft baby blue eyes watched as Grandpa worked on making Luncheon. Usually Grandpa didn't cook but Mommy was still resting so that way she could get better. Mommy was sick and Grandpa said it was the flightless bird's fault, the loud one with creepy red eyes.

Stonehut?

Lockrut?

No. That wasn't it... Ah, Rockgut! That was it! Private was sure of it. The creepy bird had chased Mommy away for a while, leaving Grandpa to take care of him. Don't get him wrong, Private loved his Grandpa but Mommy was better at both cooking and chasing away the monsters. He hoped Mommy got better soon but until then he and Grandpa would have to protect Mommy incase any monsters or Rockgut tried to hurt her.

Private quietly opened his bedroom door, glancing around to insure Grandpa wasn't going to suddenly pop out if thin air like his and Mommy liked to do at times. Seeing no sign of him, Private dragged his cover with him as he rushed to the door across the hall and silently opened it. Nervously, he glanced around to find that he was still alone. Signing in relief, Private rushed inside making are to shut the door behind him. Smiling as a sense of accomplishment filled him, Private rushed to the bed and more importantly the figure under the crimson blankets. Mommy was paler then Private had ever seen her before making Private all the more determined to protect her from any monsters. Climbing onto the bed, Private curled up next to his mother with a satisfied smile on his face as he drifted to sleep.

* * *

><p>Count Victor von Sova sighed as he watched the two figures cuddling in their sleep from Red's door way. Honestly, he wasn't very surprised to find that Private had disobeyed him and snuck into Red's room. The boy was diffenly his mother's child that there was no doubt of. Silently, the Count shut the door, it looks like he was about to get one more patient to care for.<p> 


	4. Private Age:5

Private Age:5

"No." Red felt her eye twitch as she stared down her mud covered son. The blond hair boy was glaring at her but it only made it look as if he was pouting. Was it even legal for someone to be that adorable? The villain sighed, "Private." "No bath!" He interrupted, crossing his arms over his chest in an all too fimilar posture. It seemed that the Count was right about Private watching and copying her. She pinched the bridge of her nose. God help her. "Son, if you don't take a bath you'll track mud through the base." "NO BATH! Another sigh escaped the rouge, she was never letting Private play in the rain again. But for now it seems that she'll have to use her secret weapon, "If you take a bath, I'll let you have two Peanut Butter Winkies for desert." Red open chuckled as Private raced passed her and into the bathroom, where Red had already drawn his bath water. Smiling to herself, Red grabbed Private's shampoo from a shelf. _'Works every time.'_

Private Age:5 1/2

Red never considered herself herself an overprotective mother until the day Private vanished from his kindergarten classroom. The moment she heard a man in a suit with an MI6 badge had picked him up for her, she blew a fuse and would have kept over the counter to personally strangle the woman had the Count not had a firm grip on her arm and dragged her out of the front office.

* * *

><p>Private was scared. The man who had taken him from the school seemed nice but wanted to take him from Mommy. He didn't know why the man seemed to think Mommy had done something to him. "Are you hungry Lad? You want anything?" He glared his Mommy's favorite glare at the Brown hair man, he had to bode brave like Mommy and Grandpa until they came for him. There was no doubt in Private's mind that his Mother would come for him, all he had to do was wait.<p>

* * *

><p>Super Secret Agent Nathan Jacobs of MI6 had never been so terrified in his whole life then he did at that moment and who could honestly blame him? He was staring down a posses off Penguin Enemy Number One and Ex-Enemy Number One after all. The small boy was clinging to The Red Squirrel's leg, having escaped Jacobs' reach the moment the two villains had shown up. "Count, take Private. I need a word with Agent Jacobs." Jacobs couldn't help but shiver at the villain's tone and the maniac glint in that lone eye. The moment The Count and the boy was out of the the room, a sadist smile twisted onto Red's lips.<p>

* * *

><p>"Mommy?"<p>

"Yes, Private?"

"What was that dark red liquid on your suit earlier?"

The fingers running through Private's hair paused as Red thought up an excuse. There was no way she could tell Private the truth, he was far too young and innocent for the cruel reality of what she had done.

"Wine. Jacobs spilled some wine on me while we were... talking."

Private didn't notice his Mother's brief hesitation, far too happy to just be safe in her comforting hold.

"That wasn't nice of him."

"No. No, it wasn't."


	5. Private Age:6

Private Age: 6

Count Victor von Siva sighed as he watched his daughter in all but blood and the heir to his legacy sulk with a bottle of whiskey and looking to be on the verge of busting into tears. It was ironic now that the Count thought about it, nothing had ever caused Red to look so defeated before. Punch her and she would punch you back. Send her a bomb and she would send it back with extra gunpowder. Shoot at her and she would openly laugh. Try torturing her and she would taunt and insult you, your mother and every thing else she could think of. Nothing had even come close to causing Red to react like this and nothing probably would. Except for a blond hair,blue eye boy who had only had to say three words, three small little words spoken out of anger. And what where these words? Simple: _I hate you. _

Private Age:6 1/2

"Are you sure you have everything?" Red asked the Count as he started his vehicle, a silver Bentley Continental GT W12. He was supposed to be taking Private to a birthday party and Red could see the top of Private's chosen gift, a four foot tall teddy bear, from the side window. "I'm sure, Red." The Count was obviously annoyed as he stared the car and pulled away. Red shook her head before glancing down at her left side and at the one thing the Count had forgot. "Mommy, what's Grandpa doing?" A distant sound of screeching tires as they were slammed on brakes filled the air. No doubt the Count had just noticed what exactly he forget, or should she say who exactly he forgot. "Don't worry about it Private, Dad's just getting old." The blond child nodded his head as if he had understood something of great importance, "Oh, so Grandpa's going senile?" Red didn't bother choking down her laughter, "Sure, just don't tell him that." Innocent baby blue eyes peered at her in confusion. "Why? Isn't it true?" Red smiled softly, "Yes, I suppose it is, but its also very rude and you don't want to be rude and hurt Grandpa's feelings. Do you Private?" Private frantically shook his head no. The silver Bentley pulled up then, the Count shooting Red a glare that read_ 'not a word or else'_ when he noticed her smirk.


	6. Private Age:7

Private Age: 7

Baby blue eyes glared at the black-ish-blue hair man's back as he talked with Mommy about some project they were working on together. Private usually didn't dislike people but he had made a special exception for this man. Grandpa gave him a nod when the man leaned a bit loser to his Mommy, who stayed obvious to the gesture.

_Crash!_

The glass plate he was holding shattered against the tile floor and Private forced crocodile tears to his eyes while whimpering. As planned, Red was instinctively rushing to her aid and swooped him up in seconds. A hand gently rubbed circles on his back while Mommy carefully moved from the glass and whispered words of assurance to him. Private glanced over his Mother's shoulder and smiled at the man's aggravated frown.

Private:8- Francis Blowhole: 0.

"Red, why don't you go insure that Private's okay. I'll finish up here." The Count offered, even as he ushered Red out of the room and for once she didn't protest. Once she was gone, the Count allowed a smug smirk to appear on his face.

Operation: Protect the Obvious Mom From the Perverted Dolphin, was a success.

Private Age: 7 1/2

"Mommy?"

Red paused in her work at her son's voice, "Yes, Private?" She turned to look at her boy, who was shifting nervously from foot to foot. Arching an elegant eyebrow, Red began to wounder what Private had broken this time as it was the only time he ever looked like that. Private fiddled with his hands before looking Red in the eye with determination, "Mommy, what is sex?"

Red felt here lone eye widened as she choked on air. She didn't even notice when the wrench she had been holding, fell onto her foot. Only one thought was going through her mind at the time:

Who the he'll was trying to corrupt her son?!

"Mommy?" Private asked after a few moments which seemed to be a trigger as Red's mind did the only thing it could think of such stress. Red's lone eye rolled into the back of her head before she hit the ground with a solid thud. Private's eyes widened as he rushed towards his Mother, "Mommy?" No answer. Wide eyed and full of panic, Private yelled as loud as he could, **"GRANDPA! HELP, I KILLED MOMMY!"**

* * *

><p>From the security room, Count Victor von Sova laughed like there was no tomorrow. He knew it had been a good idea to tell Private to ask Red about sex.<p> 


	7. Private Age: 8

Private Age: 8

Super Secret Agent Nigel liked to considered himself an open minded man. Years of services for MI6 had taught him that nothing was truly impossible and nothing should ever be considered such. Until now at least, after all he had just been informed that The Red Squirrel, the violets of vermin to ever exist, had a child. The spy stared at Q in disbelief, maybe the man had been tipping into his precious scotch again? There was no way Red would trust anyone enough to sleep in the same room as herself, let alone have sex with them. So maybe the rouge had picked up some homeless orphan? After all, no one in their right mind would give Red a child.

Right?

* * *

><p>Nigel gapped like a fish out of water at the sceen before him. Sure, The Commander had assured him that Q was not drunk, but hearing from someone else and personally seeing where two different things. He almost blown him cover at the sight of a small, blond hair, baby blue eyed boy dragging the world's deadliest villain around the mostly deserted playground, like an oversize doll. What surprised Nigel even further was the fact that Red was letting the boy do so while laughing in a way Nigel honestly didn't think the villain could: full of happiness. Nigel couldn't help but wounder if he had somehow walked into the Twilight Zone.<p>

* * *

><p>Red frowned as she got the sudden feeling that she and Private were being watched, but there was no one in sight. Her lone eye narrowed as the glared into the nearby tree line, not to close but just close enough to see. She was distracted from her thoughts by Private tugging her towards the swings, "Mommy, come push me!" Laughing, Red's smile slipped back into place,"Alright, alright. I'm coming," Her previous train of thought was long forgotten in favour of spending time with her son.<p> 


	8. Private Age: 8 and a half - 9

Private Age: 8 1/2

The Count sighed as Red sat in the fetal position, rocking back and forth as she mumbled to herself. Honestly, you would have thought that her best friend had up and died, not that Private had told her that he was a big boy now and so he couldn't call her Mommy anymore.

Private Age: 9

"Mum? "

Red gave a soft groan as she was woken by Private shaking her shoulder. "Huh? " She was too tired for words at the time.

"There's a creepy man roaming the halls, can I sleep with you tonight? "

At first Private's words didn't register, but when they did her lone eye shot open and she was sitting up in a flash. "Private, what did the 'creepy man' look like?" The more Red heard the more certain she became on who the intruder was. White hair, pale skin, emerald eyes, and a dark green and grey suit. There was only one man who fit that description that would dare roam her base:

Super Secret Agent Nigel Tux.

Damn that man, Nigel never could mind his own business. No doubt he had heard about Private and came to investigate. Now how to get rid of him? She couldn't leave Private alone, not with Nigel roaming the base. Slowly, a sadist smirk came to Red's face as she chuckled darkly, that could work. "Private, why don't we let Cuddles and Fluffy play with our guest."

* * *

><p>Nigel mentally cursed every God known to man kind as he ran for his life, a four hundred pound lion and a three hundred eight pound snow tiger on his tail. Of course Red would have exotic pets, but why the he'll did she name them Cuddles and Fluffy?! That crazy Russian needed a therapist or maybe an army of them as Nigel didn't think one would be enough for the obviously unstable villain.<p> 


	9. Private Age: 9 and a half - 10

Private Age: 9 1/2

Red arched an eyebrow as she watched Private shake in fear, his eyes never leaving the small mammal before him. Glaring at the Count, Red couldn't help but think this was all his fault. If only he had never insisted on looking after Private that day, then maybe her son wouldn't be so traumatized of such a small critter. The sad part was that neither the Count nor Private would tell her what he had done to make Private so traumatized of badgers.

Private Age: 10

"Mum?"

"Yes, Private?"

"Why don't I have a Father like the other children?"

Red paused in her work, having not expected the question. How was she susposed to answer a question like that? Did Private want a Father like the other children have? Sighing, Red put down her wrench to face her son.

"Well, you see Private. I just haven't fount the right man yet. Why? Do you want one?"

The way Private nervously glanced down at his feet was all the answer Red needed. Oh course he would want a Father, even Red had wanted one as a child and the Count, despite what people thought, had been a great Father. Though she would never tell him that even if her life depended on it, his ego was already too big.

"How do you know if you fount the right one?"

Red stayed silent for a few moments.

"...Honestly, I don't know."

* * *

><p>MI6 HQ<p>

Nigel's Office

Getting a DNA sample from Red's son had not been easy, the villain was far too protective of the boy for Nigel to just walk up and ask for one, but the spy had managed it through the boy's school doctor. He had personally oversaw the DNA testing and now held the results. Feeling utterly satisfied with himself, Nigel took a sip of his tea and opened the file, only to spit his tea out a moment later at the results. It wasn't possible.

"Luna."


	10. Plots of the Sova Kind

Private nervously shifted from foot as he gathered the courage to tell his Grandpa about his plots concerning his Mum. He knew it was a risk but he needed an adults help and it wasn't as if he could tell his Mum, she would put a stop to his plans in an instant and it didn't help that she was one of his targets.

"Grandpa?"

The older man's owl-like eyes pierced him with the fierce intensity Private had grown to seek comfort in.

"Yes, Private?"

"I need your help, but you can't tell Mum." Private spoke sounding more confident then he felt. The Count arched a silver eyebrow, "That all depends on what you ask." As Private began to tell out his plan the Count slowly gained a predatory grin. "Alright, I'm in, but we're going to need the help of one more person." Private gave his Grandfather a confused look, "Who?" The Count smirked.

"My Arch Nenemis when I was Penguin Enemy Number One: Super Secret Agent Dylan."

* * *

><p>Super Secret Agent Dylan stared in open disbelief at the two people in front of him as if they had grown two heads. "I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right." The Count's smirk never fade as he repeated himself.<p>

"I need your help."


	11. Private Age: 10 and a half Part 1

**The last chapter, Plots of a Sova Kind, was part of chapter nine that unfortunately didn't load correctly. Sorry.**

* * *

><p>Private Age: 10 12

Nigel fount himself staring at Private's file for what had to be the eighth time that day alone. It had almost been half a year since he had discovered the truth and still fount it hard to believe.

Red's son was actually Luna's son. Red, his arch nenemis, was raising his nephew. Penguin Enemy Number One was raising his nephew. Nigel knew he had to confront Red about it but how? It's not like he could just invite Red to his office for tea...

...Or could he?

* * *

><p>Red stared at the invention in utter disbelief. Had Nigel finally lost it? Or did he seriously expect Red to just pop up at MI6 HQ for tea?<p>

"I think you should do it?"

Red glanced at the Count as if he had lost his mind and maybe he had.

"Would you like me to bring a stripped uniform as well?" Red deadpaned as she folded the invention.

"What's the worse that can happen?"

Red resisted the urge to slap him.

* * *

><p>When Nigel had sent the invention he had never actually expected Red to show but judging by the annoyed look on her face neither did she. Yet there she was, looking very much like a vengeanceful War Goddess. She obviously didn't want to be here and Nigel couldn't blame her, after all, not many were willing to waltz right into their enemies HQ.<p>

"Come in," he ushered her in, well aware of the hundreds of eyes on them, "I'm glad you could make it."

Red rolled her eye, it wasn't as if she had much choice between the Count pestering her and Private's puppy dog eyes. Damn, that should really be illegal for everyone's safety.

"Please, have a seat. Can I get you anything?"

"You can get to the point."

With a sigh, Nigel pulled out Private's file before tossing it at the rouge, who caught it in mid-flight. Opening the file Red froze.

"_As you can see, we have a lot to discuss, Red."_


	12. Private Age: 10 and a half Part 2

Private Age: 10 1/2

"_As you can see, we have a lot to discuss, Red."_

* * *

><p>He knew. Damn it! Nigel knew the truth and they both knew it. Red glared at the file half hoping it was magically combust and take the results inside with it. Why did Nigel a ways have to stick his nose in where it wasn't wanted?<p>

"What do you want?" Red cut straight to the point, her lone eyes colder than a glacier and harder than stone. Nigel obviously wanted something or he wouldn't have brought this up.

"Practical Custody."

Red's eye narrowed, there was no way in he'll she was just going to hand over her son to Nigel of all people.

"And if I say no?"

Hard emerald eyes locked onto her, "Then I take him. I'm his Uncle, Red, and as far as the world is concerned, you're the Vilest of Vermin." Red didn't deny it because she couldon't. Legal guardian or not, many would be all too happy to take Private from her without a seconds doubt.

"Look Red, my offer is simple:

You'll keep Primary Custody of Private and I'll just randomly stop by to check in him. If something happens that makes you unable to care for him, Private will go into my care until the problems solved. Do we have a deal?"

Rd stared at Nigel's hand knowing it was the best offer he would willingly give. She reached over and firmly grabbed it.

"Deal."

She could only hope this wouldn't come back to haunt her and her family. Oh, who was she kidding?


	13. Private Age: 10 and a half Part 3

Private Age: 10 1/2 Part 3

Private stared at his Mother's Arch-nenemis in disbelief, did he honestly expect Private to be believe a word he said? The blond hair boy glanced over to his Mother, who was scowling at the spy's back. Upon noticing Private looking at her she gave a reluctant nod, confirming the truth in the white hair man's words. Uncle, he had an Uncle. It was a little hard for Private to accept as it had always been just him, Mum, and Grandpa. Don't get him wrong, Private always wanted more family, still..

Did his Uncle have to be his Mum's arch nenemis?

With a well hidden circulating look in his blue eyes, Private glanced been his newly discover Uncle and the scowling Mum. Maybe this could help his plan along after all. A large, friendly smile split his face and baby blue eyes sparkled innocently. Yes, he could work with this.

"Its a pleasure to meet you, Uncle Nigel."

* * *

><p>Count Victor von Siva allowed a smirk to appear on his face once he was safely in his room. Biological or not Private was suddenly Red's son, they both had long mastered the fine art of deception and neither had any problems with using it to reach their own personal goals. Part of him woundered if Red even realized her own child was plotting against her or was she blinded to it by her motherly love for the boy. Picking up his cellphone, Victor hit the speed dail button and waited until Dylan's voice spoke.<p>

"Yes?"

"The Game is Set."

* * *

><p>Red frowned at her reflection as her lone eye narrowed. Something wasn't right, she could feel it in her very being, like something was crawling under her skin.<p>

Something was wrong, but what?


	14. Private Age: 11

Private Age: 11

"No."

Red ignored Private's pouting to the best of her ability as she fixed him with a firm' no nonsense' look.

"Please." Private pleaded, trying to wear down his Mother, who seemed determined to remain forum in this matter, "It'll only be for a week." Red's eye twitched, did Private not know what could possibly happen in a week? He could get sick, kidnapped, or worse: Decide he wants to be just like Nigel and leave for good. He was still too young to leave. A part of Red's mind told her she just be overprotective but another part told her she wouldn't be able to protect Private if he actually went.

"Look, Private. I can put up with with Nigel coming over at random times, but I don't a prove of you going to his cottage for a whole week. Anything can happen while your there alone."

To her surprise, Private nodded, "I agree, but I'm not going alone, Mum." He smiled brightly, "You'll come with me."

Red at first began to nodd before Private's words actually sunk in.

**"Wait, What?!"**

Nigel choked on his tea in shock and for once both villain and spy agreed on something.

**"I/She can't stay at Nigel's/my home! He/She would kill me in my sleep!" **

Their heads snapped to look at each other, before the two recoiled from one another as though performing a synchronised dance.

Private's lower lip wavered as tears filled his eyes. It seemed he would have to play his triumph card.

"But Mum, if you don't come who would protect me? What if someone tries to kidnap me? I could be poisoned, I could be dying in some ditch and you'd never know until it was to late."

Red's eye twitched, one more push.

"What if MI6 comes after me? Nigel would have no choice but to hand me over."

Without another word, Red spun on heel and disappeared into a room. A moment later she came out with a crimson bag thrown over her shoulder. Private smiled as the Count laughed and Nigel stared in disbelief.

Nigel looked to the Count, Red was willingly coming to his home? "How-" The retired villain just smirked,

_"Overprotective Mother Syndrome."_


	15. Private Age: 11 Part 2

Private Age: 11 Part 2

"Nigel?"

The spy forced himself not to flinch at the Commander's forcibly calm tone.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Why is Enemy Number One at your table drinking tea?"

Nigel clutched his own cup a tea a bit tighter as he glanced over at said villain, who was going a perfect job of ignoring the MI6 Commander. For once the awkward tension that had always filled the air was gone with no sign that it had ever been there. Nigel foundered how the hell she could stay so calm at a time like this.

"She was thirsty?"

Nigel saw Red raise an elegant brow as if silently asking 'that's your excuse'? Honestly he couldn't blame her, even he felt like an idiot after saying it.

"Nigel-" the Commander started only to be cut off as Red hit him directly between the eyes with an acorn muffin she had made for breakfast. Both openly stared at her in disbelief, but her only answer was to stare at them both in boredom. Deciding to pretend that never happened, the Commander turned back to Nigel.

"Nigel, wha-"

He was cut off as another muffin hit him inbetween the eyes again. Red stared at them with a narrow eye yet said nothing, but Nigel swore he saw her upper lip twitch slightly. Once again the Commander choice to ignore Red.

"Nig-"

Once again a muffin hit him between the eyes. The Commander spun on the villain, **"Do you mind?!"**

"Yes. I do."

Nigel couldn't help but gap at the villain, who calmly took a drink of her tea. He always knew she was insane bit this was a new level of insane.

"And why is that?"

Red give the Commander a look that roughly translate into 'your an idiot'.

"Because some idiot is ruining my breakfast."

Nigel and the Commander gapped as the villain glared at the Commander.

"**God, Red! Do you have any idea who you're taking to?"** Nigel questioned causing Red to roll her eye.

"I know who he is, Tux. I just don't care."

Red ignored their gaping in favour of her taking a bit of another muffin she had grabbed from the basket next to her.

"And why do you keep hitting me with muffins?"

"Cause you keep trying to poke holes in Nigel's logic."

The Commander's left eye twitched.

**"What logic?!"**

This time Nigel was certain that he saw Red smile before she hid it behind her glass of tea.


	16. Private Age: 11 and a half- 13

Private Age: 11 1/2

Red stood in Private's doorway as she watched her son sleep. It hurt to know that it was only a matter if time until they would be separated and there was no doubt in Red's mind that they would be. Rockgut was back, after all, with only one goal in mind: throwing Red back into prision. Honestly,Red was thankful he had waited this long to hunt her down as it had given her a chance to actually raise her son.

"You'll look after him. Won't you, Tux?"

She knew he was standing behind her, having moved there with his usual grace and the sigh only proved it. They both knew Red's time was limited and the limit was rapidly approaching.

"I'll do my best, Red. I promise."

"I'll hold you to that."

* * *

><p>A week later, Red went out to pick up groceries. They fount her groceries with her wallet tucked inside the bag a mile from Nigel's cottage. She did not return.<p>

* * *

><p>A month went by with no signs of Red or Rockgut. Red was declared MIA and Rockgut was believed to be KIA. After many talks it was decided that Private would stay with Nigel as the Count returned to Russia with Dylan.<p>

Private took Red's disappearance the hardest. Nigel often caught him sleeping by the back door, waiting for Red to walk in- she outright refused to use the front door- or in Red's appointed room.

When Private turned twelve, Nigel signed him up for the Academy. It was there he would meet the Agents he would consider to be the brothers he had never had.

* * *

><p>Private Age: 13<p>

Nigel smiled as he watched Private work with his 'brothers' from the Main Office. The four worked together like a well oiled machine.

"Do you think we should tell him?"

The Commander questioned from his spot in the Headmaster's chair, causing Nigel to briefly glance at him before smirking.

"No." He glanced down at the file in his hands and more importantly the picture within it. "If you tell the Lad now he'll be on the first flight to America before you could say 'Dollies'. Let the Lad make some attachments first. I'll personally deal with this."

Once again Nigel glanced down at the picture:

The image if a smirking red hair woman with an eyepatch stared back at him.


	17. -America-

-America-

Red glared at Nigel, who sat across from her with that Damn annoying smile.

"You signed my son up for the Academy?"

Nigel nodded as he took a sip of his tea. Not really worried about Red who looked ready to reach across the table and strangle him with her bare hands. Honestly, if anything, Nigel thought that Red's anger was quiet the turn-on, but he dared not say it to her. He'd rather not be neutered with a rusty, jagged old spoon, thanks.

"Calm down, Red. No one but me and the Commander know he's your kid. As far as everyone is concerned he's just my nephew."

Red closed her lone eye and took a steading breath. No one knew, Private was safe. For now, at least.

"And if he graduates?"

Nigel smiled as that gold-ish-amber eye pierced him.

"I'll personally see to it that he stays with his current unit and is sent somewhere remotely safe."

After a moment Red nodded, she knew it was the best Nigel or anyone could dare to offer. Before they could speak anymore, the waiter brought the check. Red reached for her wallet to pay, only for Nigel to firmly yet gently grab her arm.

"Don't worry about it, I got it."

Red went to protest but Nigel grabbed the check and headed for the cashier. Red watched him from the table, wishing that she could figure out what exactly went on in Nigel's head.

Nigel finished paying and upon seeing Red watching him with that calculating gaze, smile. A true smile that Red had never seen on him before. Red quickly looked away, trying to figure out how exactly Nigel's smile had lighten up the whole room.


	18. Confused Feelings

Red silently walked down the deserted pathway, only the moonlight to light her way. She didn't mind as she wasn't really paying much attention to anything but her current issue:

Trying to figure out what the hell Nigel did to her.

She couldn't explain it but she had felt strange ever since their luncheon meeting. And for the life of her, she just couldn't figure out why. He didn't go near the food as it prepared so he couldn't have drugged it. So what had changed?

Why did her heart feel as if it was going to burst out of her chest?

Maybe she needed a doctor?

Maybe she was ill?

No.

Neither seemed right, so what else was there?

Frowning, Red narrowed her good eye. It wasn't drugs or poison and she wasn't sick. Think, Think. What else is there?

... Maybe... Maybe she just really... Nah, it couldn't be. Could it? If so why now? Then again, why not now?

Nodding to herself, Red smiled. She knew what was wrong. It was so simple and obvious now that she actually thought about it. Satisfied with her conclusion Red began to hum softly.

_Maybe. Just Maybe, a she wanted to kill Nigel._

* * *

><p>Nigel plopped down onto his hotel bed with a soft sigh. Of all the people in the universe why did he have to fall for the one he knew would never even consider giving him a second glance? Not in that way at least. He never meant foe it to happen, it just did. Not that he did anything to stop it either.<p>

He should have fought her when he fount her. Twisted her new friends from her, used them against her, but he didn't. Instead he had invited her to have lunch with him and to his surprise, she agreed. It was obvious she did not trust him and for good reason.

How many times did he tear her from whatever life she created for herself?

How may times did he try to throw her in the worst of prisons, knowing she would never see the sunlight again?

How many times has he tried to plain out murder her?

How Many Times had he wrapped his fingers around that frail neck and squeezed while watching that gold-ish-Amber eye dim? Hoping to extinguish that burning flame within it for good?

How many times had she saved his life only for him to stab her on the back? Quite literally on several different cases.

How many times had he sworn he would personally kill her or die trying?

Nigel gave a mournful groan as he hurried his face into one of the bed's fluffy pillows. He was doomed for heartbreak, wasn't he? A snowball had a better chance in hell then he had of her actually loving him.

_Why, of everyone in the universe, did he have to fall in love with Red?_


	19. It's Not Fair

Nigel stared at the innocently wrapped package on his desk for a moment before sighing. It was probably another gift from his ever growing fan club. The very idea caused Nigel to shiver in fear as he carefully picked it up before tossing it out his version's patio window. He closed the window and headed back to bed. He never heard the loud explosion outside or a man shouting about his car.

Red glared at Nigel's window from her car. She had been soon close. Narrowing her eye, she drove past the man moaning about his car. Time for Plan B.

* * *

><p>Red forced a smile at the man who worked for room service, with a nametag reading Clark, as she handed over a tray of cookies.<p>

"Don't worry Ma'am, I'll make sure he gets them."

Red was tempted teamwork but kept up her smile.

"Thank you."

Clark sighed as he made his way to the requested man's room. God, why didn't any hot women bake him sweets? His stomach growled as the aroma hit him. He hadn't eaten last night having been far too tired and he had run late this morning causing him to miss breakfast. He stared at the plate of good. Just one couldn't hurt, right?

Willing to risk it as the hall was deserted, Clark picked up a cookie and took a bit before moaning in bliss at the chewy,melt in your mouth sanitation. A moment later the tray hit the ground followed by a heavy thud.

* * *

><p>Nigel couldn't help but feel as if someone was out to get him. He didn't know why bit he just and most of the time that feeling was right. He was on his way to his car when he saw a woman drop her groceries and went to help, he had just handed her back her bags and was about to retrieve her buggy which had slowly made its way to his car. It gently tapped the vehicle before both went up in a blazing flame of glory.<p>

* * *

><p>Red felt like curling up and crying as she scratched out Plan M. It wasn't fair that Nigel apparently had the Devil's Luck.<p>

Why? She wasn't asking for much.

All she wanted to do was kill him.

Red returned to her current home around midnight, exhausted. She sulked as she made her way into the kitchen only to freeze at what she saw. Her kitchen counter was coveted in white roses and with them was a single note written in emerald green ink with a similar elegant writing style. It was short, consisting of only four words:

_To: Red_

_Love,_

_Nigel_

Red stared for a moment wondering what sort of mockery this was. Was he openly taunting her? Red's eye narrowed.

"Damn you, Nigel!"


	20. Let Go!

"You know I'm beginning to think you want to kill me."

Red's eye twitched but the knife against Nigel's throat never wavered. Beginning? Seriously she had been trying to kill him for almost a year and he only noticed now?

"What could have possible given you such an idea?"

Scarasm laced the villain's voice as she resisted the urge to hit him.

"Was it the letters I sent clearly stating: I want to kill you or the multiple times I tried?!"

Nigel just laughed looking a bit embarrassed.

"Well, actually to be honest... I kind of thought those were your own ways of showing affection."

"You know, I would be doing the world a huge favor if I just killed you now. What the hell type of logic is that?!"

Nigel didn't answer but was instead staring at her with a serious look on his face that was slowly replaced by understanding. Finally!

"Oh Red, you never had any hugs as a child, did you?"

Wait, what?! What the hell did hugs have to do with anything? Especially her trying to kill him?

"Wha-"

In a swift movement, the knife was knocked from her hands and she fount herself being squeezed tightly against Nigel's chest. She squirmed in his grip

**"LET GO OF ME, YOU IDIOT!"**

"Sshhh, it's okay. Maybe if someone had hugged you as a child, you wouldn't be like this."

"What do you mean 'like this'? There's nothing wrong with me!"

"Oh course there isn't and you don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"Nigel,** LET GO!"**

"**NEVER!** You need hugs to make up for the ones you never had as a child!"

Red's eye twitched dangerously.

**"I DON'T WANT YOUR HUGS, TUX! I WANT YOU TO LET GO OF ME AND DIE!"**


	21. Not a Pillow

It had been a long time since Red could honestly say she slept a whole night in comfort. Usually she was too wound up to so, always expecting some sort of attack if she if she lowered her guard. Yet right at that moment all she felt was warm and safe. The bed was soft, the covers kept her warm and her pillow was perfect, even if it did seem as if it was ever so slightly moving...

Wait, when did pillows move?

Ever so slowly, she lifted her head from the pillow and look. Only to violently throw herself off the bed a moment later, taking the covers with her. That was no pillow, it wasn't even close.

* * *

><p>Nigel chuckled softly as he stared down at the mass of cover on the floor. A smooth voice could be heard underneath them, proving it's vast knowledge in swears in multiple languages. It was an adorable sight really, especially when Red sat up, causing the covers to drape from her shoulders. That combined with the 'What-the-Hell' look made her look like an oversized kitten causing Nigel to laugh at her open horrified confusion.<p>

Finally he managed to get a hold of himself, Nigel smiled.

_"Good Morning Red, sleep well?"_

Before his eyes Red paled even more than usual, a feat Nigel didn't think was possible, until she almost looked like a ghost. The horror in that lone eye grew as she tries to speak but no words came out.

"Red?"

...

"Red, you don't look so good. Maybe you should lay back down?"

...

"Ello, anyone in there?"

Then Red did the one thing Nigel never expected.

**Thud!**

Her lone eye rolled into the back of her head and she fainted. Instinctly, Nigel panicked.

**"Red!"**


	22. Thoughts of the Unknown

Red gave a soft groan as she came to that oh so horrible. Nightmare in the back of her mind. Slowly she opened an eyes and sighed in relief, never before had she been so thankful to wake alone. It was just a dream. Well, a nightmare was more like it but it wasn't real.

She was tempted to laugh, oh course it wasn't real. Why would she and Nigel ever share a bed? He hated her and vic-versa, they always were trying to kill each other. Why did she even dream such an impossible thing?

Relaxing both her strained muscles and nerves, the villain slipped back under the covers with a small smile. Just a nightmare.

She was alone.

For some reason that thought caused a brief pain in her chest but she swiftly brushed it away.

There was nothing wrong with being alone. Being alone meant she was safe. There was no one to hurt or betray her when she wad alone. She was safest when she was alone...

So why did the very thought hurt so much?

Red silently laid on bed musing on it but the answer kept evading her. She just couldn't understand why the thought of being alone hurt so much. With a frustrated sigh, Red forced the musings from her mind. It probably wasn't too important anyway.

* * *

><p>Nigel sighed as he wondered if leaving while Red slept had really been such a good idea. Sure he had locked the door and paid for the room, but maybe he should have stayed? At least until she woke and then maybe they could...<p>

No! Nigel shook his head, banishing the very thought. Red was am independent and strong willed woman. She would have killed him if she could figure out what was going on in his head. Such thoughts about her would have got him neutered if she knew he was thinking about them.

Thank God she couldn't read minds...

She couldn't, right?

Nervously he glanced at hid apartment door, half expecting her to bust in. When she didn't the spy sighed in relief before laughing at himself for thinking such a thing. It was ridiculous.

**KNOCK! KNOCK!KNOCK!**

With a terrified noise, Nigel jumped to his feet staring at the door on horror. Oh, God she could!

**"I SWEAR I WASNT THINKING IT, RED!"**

There was a brief pause then a man's voice.

"Sir?"

Nigel stared at the door as the voice registered. That wasn't Red. He laughed nervously in both relief and embarrassment.

"Who is it?"

The voice still sounded confused as it answered.

"Room service, sir. I have your breakfast."

Diffently not Red.

"Coming."


	23. A Day Best Left Alone

Red knew she shouldn't drink alone, but she just didn't care. Not today at least. Siting in her dark corner of the old tavern, Red nursed a bottle of Russian Whiskey as if it was a newborn child.

Today and just today she planed to get completely wasted. Just for today she wanted to forget everything and drown herself in the bottle.

No pain.

No regrets.

No sorrow.

No mourning.

And most importantly, No memories.

Just the numbness that she always allowed to consume her on this day- the day her brother was murdered.

She was doing a swell job of it too until THEY showed up.

Red scolded but didn't bother moving from her spot as the two Special Agents made their way to the old bartender. She saw them show the man a picture before he gestured her towards her direction. Two set of eyes immediately locked on her table: one a startling crimson and the other a hard emerald green. She knew she should probably leave then but she was there first and if they had a problem with it- oh well.

Determined to Ingore the two Agnets, Red paid them no mind as they stood opposite of her.

"Red."

She continued to Ingore them in favour of the precious liquid in her hands. She didn't pay them any mind when they sat down at her table and tried to get her attention again.

"Red Squirrel."

The sharp tone almost made Red snort. Did they honestly think Squirrel was her last name? She chuckled at the very thought, never noticing the two share a look.

"Red, I think you had enough."

A hand reached for the bottle, but Red wasn't having it as she yanked the bottle closer to her with a snarl.

" Mine got voir ovn."

Both her Russain accent and drunken slur butchered her words but a he was pretty sure the message was clear as a sunny day sky.

* * *

><p>Nigel sighed as he shared a worried glance with Rockgut, this was the first time either had seen Red at a tavern. Let alone inhaling Whiskey like it oxygen for a suffocating man.<p>

Once again Nigel fount himself trying to take the mostly empty bottle from the Russian Villain, only to almost have his hand stabbed with a knife by an irritated Red. Where she got the. Knife was beyond Nigel as he had been certain only empty bottles had been stacked on the table.

"Von ore time, I 'are ya."

Nigel sighed, it seems they would be doing this Rockgut's way after all.

* * *

><p>If there was one thing Buck Rockgut never wanted to do again it was trying to get a bottle of Whiskey from a mostly drunken Red. The woman was ferocious as Hell itself on a regular basics but when drunk she could send Hell running for safety.<p>

Buck glanced into the back seat mirror with his swollen eye at the Russian, who was fast asleep on Nigel's backseat. The British spy's jacket being used as a blanket. Nigel himself we driving, having suffered the lesser of their injuries.

Now that they had the villain neither knew what to do as it didn't fell eight to turn Red over while she was in such a state but it had been too dangerous for everyone to just leave her at the tavern.

So after a brief talk and driving around for a while, they decided to rent a room for the night. Getting the room was easy. Getting Red up there without waking anyone else wasn't especially seeing as she stirred every time they tried to pick up the underweight villain. And neither was willing to risk waking her up.

He and Nigel were considered a lot of thing but suicidal was not one of them.


	24. Private

Private

Private had to admit he Probally wasn't the sanest person at Tue Academy, but then again who could possible be consider save after being raised by two Penguin Enemy Number Ones? Don't get him wrong he loved his Mother and Grandfather but after being raised by the two Private fount he thought a bit differently then the other Penguins did. Yet he did as while was taught and deceived the other Penguins into believing he wad like them if not weaker.

He carried around the Lunacorn his Mother gave him as a child and acted naive to the world and the cruel truths it held. Many fell for his act and called him a Nancy-Cat but there was one group that didn't. Maybe because they were also different, who knows? But they seemed determined to find the true him. Yet Private was too good at holding up his act and as time went by he fount himself making a strange alliance with the goup and as time went by most of them seemed to forget that Private was hidding his true self. It was easier for them to accept his mask as his real self. Yet not Skipper, the paranoid penguin was determined to one day be the one to unmask the real Private and whatever dark secrets he was hiding.

He reminded Private of Buck Rockgut, always putting his nose in where it didn't belong. Chuckling softly, Private locked his dorm's door. If Skipper was Rockgut, then he must be Mother. Except this time the Villain wad hiding in plain sight. Mother would no doubt get a good laugh out of this. The Academy, bent on raising Penguin Agents to stop villains, had a Sova in it and no one but Nigel knew. If they had they would have thrown Private into the darkest cell they could find as every one knew, only a Sova could be Penguin Enemy Number One.


	25. Private- Academy Bullies

Bullies were a part of life, that Private knew. No matter where you went there would always be this idiot wanting to flex his muscles and prove he was better than anyone else. He didn't really mind bullies as he knew he was superior and refused to lower himself to their level. He was content to Ingore them until one brought up his Mother. Instanctly Private froze and spoke in an icy cold voice.

"What did you say?"

The Leader of the bullies smirked.

"You heard me. Your Mother's a slut. Everyone knows how you don't have a Father and your Mother is never around. I bet she abandoned you for a new boyfriend."

Now Private prided himself for not losing his temper easily, but NO ONE insulted his Mother and got away with it. His eyes turned to ice as he moved to face the bullies, dropping his bag at his feet.

* * *

><p>Nigel sighed as he finally fount Private. The boy stood surrounded by bodies of some of the Academy's more violent gang. Some of the downed cadets where moaning in pain, some weren't even moving and all were covered in bruises and blood with limbs in positions that were not natural. Yet somehow Private didn't have a drop of blood or a single bruise on him. Nigel watched as his nephew picked up his bad, kicking a boy in the family jewels before walking Nigel's direction.<p>

Nigel sighed, at times it was easy to forget Private had been raised by Red and The Count, but at times it was painfully obvious. Like now for example.

"Do I want to know?"

Private gave him a glance as he kept walking past Nigel. He opened the door before speaking.

"He called Mom a slut. "

Nigel waited for the door to shut before kicking the same boy in his Family Jewels before pausing in thought and doing it again.

"Insult Red again and I'll kill you and that's a promise."


	26. Nigel -The Edinsburgh Capture part 1

In all honesty Nigel never expected to run into Red at Edinsburgh but he knew he couldn't just pretend he never saw her. Espically not when she was in the middle of an assassination on a high ranking Council Member that Nigel was sent to protect.

He had to give her credit though, she had it all planed out perfectly to commit the murder and frame it on a foreign diplomat. If Nigel hadn't been there he was certain she would have been successful too. Still he had been and had managed to catch her right before she could pull the trigger.

Her lone eye seemed to glow with a furrious anger as she attacked him with a vengeance. Once again starting their deadly dance.

Honestly, Nigel had expected Red to escape like she always did. He swung a metal pole at her head, expecting her to duck but she didn't. Instead she coughed violently and the pole hit her right aside the temple of her head. She crumpled to the ground like a puppet without it's string. Nigel dropped the pole in shock and rushed to the Russian's side. Luckily she was still alive, just knocked out cold...

... And running a high fever, Probally what had slowed her reactions.

Nigel easily lifted up his arch-nenemis' and secret crushed, startled by how underweight she felt. Red had obviously been forgotten to eat again. Sighing, Nigel shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around the villain, trying it like a straight jacket- just in case she woke suddenly. Afterwards he left the building and headed for his car ignoring the chaos behind him. There was no more danger now that he had Red so he had no need to stay.


	27. Nigel- The Edinsburgh Capture Part 2

Nigel smirked as his life long nenemis glared at him from where she was tied up. Honestly, Nigel had interned to turn the villain over to MI6 but an unsuspected blizzard had blown in and he ended up dragging the villain to his hotel. Now they just sat in silence, Red glaring at him with both boredom and hatred.

It didn't bother him as he was used to such glares as Red only ever showed two modes around him:

Insane Maniac bent on World Domanotin

And

'I hope you die a slow, painful death' .

Right now, Red was in the second mode. If Nigel was honest he would have to admit that right now, Red was the very personification of temptation to the spy.

Red untamable hair, skin as pale as snow, a bit battered and a defiant look in that Gold-ish-Amber eye. To make the deal even sweeter, Red was tied up and at his utter mercy.

Nigel loved being in control. At work, on mission, with lovers- he spy hated not having a degree of control over such things. And to have control over Red, now that was something the British Spy always desired, to tame the untamable- even if only for a night.

Nigel licked his suddenly dry lips as he glanced over at Red, who's eye had narrowed dangerously.

It couldn't hurt, could it? Just one night, that's all Nigel needed.

Red narrowed her lone eye as Nigel pulled the Russian to her feet. For a moment, Red glared as Nigel stared at her with a circulating look. It was almost as if he was trying to decide something. And then, without warning, Red fount herself slammed roughly into a wall as hunger lips tried to devour her own. Red's lone eye widened in shock. When something tried slithering into Red's mouth, she bit it causing Nigel to pull back with a frown.

"You bit me."

Red was about to respond when she fount herself lifted off her feet and tossed onto the bed. Instinctively, Red made to get off but it wasn't easy being tied up and she soon fount herself knocked down by Nigel's weight, as the spy pinned the villain to the bed.

Nigel smirked as his emerald eyes shined with a passionate hunger.

"I guess I'll just have to bite you back."


	28. Nigel- The Edinsburgh Capture Part 3

It was early morning when Red woke, body sore and aching. She could feel her pillow moving under her and something gently trailing down her back. Strange, last she recalled her pillow was a bit stiff and didn't move and her covers never tickled her back. Slowly her mind began to wake up and Red stilled as memories from the night before hit her.

That wasn't her pillow and cover was it?

She opened her eyes and felt herself stop breathing, that was no pillow. She glanced up and fount herself looking into the Emerald Eyes of her life long nenemis. Nigel smiled, looking more satisfied and happy then Red had ever seen him before.

"Morning Love. Sleep well?"

* * *

><p>Nigel rubbed his black eye as he watched Red fix her eyepatch into place. Well at least he knew where Private got his brutally violent tendencies from.<p>

Despite the brutal beating he had gotten from the furious Russian, Nigel couldn't bring himself to regreat his spur of the moment actions. If anything, it was well worth it and he would gladly take a hundred more breakdowns for another night with the villain.

* * *

><p>"Private's graduating soon."<p>

Nigel spoke softly but it had the desired effect as Red froze, her hand on the doorknob.

"He wants you too be there when he does."

Honestly Red wanted to be there too but she knew she couldn't, as Penguin Enemy Number One every Penguin Agent knew what the Red Squirrel looked like and would be constantly on gaurd.

"You know I can't and you know why. "

Nigel raised an eyebrow,

"Has that ever stoped you before? I'm sure if you really want too you'll find a way. And if not, I'll be there that way he's not alone."

Red's grip tightened on the doorknob as silence consumed the room. A moment later she opened the door and walked out. Nigel sighed softly as the door softly clicked shut.


	29. Private- Graduation Suprise

"Private Tux. "

The polite clapping followed the HeadMaster's voice and said teen, nervously fount himself making his way on stage. From the corner of his eye he could Uncle Nigel smiling proudly but no matter how much he looked he could not find his Mother.

Disappointed but not all that surprised, Private shook the HeadMaster's hand and turned to give the crowd a salute, as was tradition. Mid-salute he froze as he noticed something he hadn't before: a woman in a brilliant crimson dress and trench-coat stood, mostly hidden by shadows, by herself in the very back of the room.

Private couldn't stop the large smile from coming to his face as his blue eyes shined. He knew that face, he had seen it most of his life after all.

It seems Mother made it after all.

* * *

><p>Red shifted uncomfortably in her dress as she watched Private smile brightly. Part of her wanted to laugh at the sheer irony of a Sova graduating from the Penguin Academy but another part of her was filled with pure parental pride. Seeing Private again was well worth wearing the monstrosity that woman called a dress and the icing of the cake was that no Penguin even recognized her as they all- minus Nigel and Rockgut- thought the Red Squirrel was a man.<p>

**"Mom!"**

Red couldn't help but laugh as she was tackled by Private, who was still smiling that hundred watt smile of his. She didn't really care if anyone was staring, with strength that surprised several watching Red lifted her son up and hugged him tightly. God she had missed him.


	30. Skipper- Suspicion

Private Tux was a mystery wrapped in mysteries and it greatly annoyed Skipper. At times the boy was kind, gentle and a bit naive but at other times he was cold and calculating. Skipper had spent the last six years trying to figure out the British boy but had yet to succeeded. At ties he thought he had the boy hidden out but then some new angle would show itself and he'd have to reevaluate everything he thought he knew. It was for this reason that he was watching Private and the woman he called "Mom" closely. There was something strangely similar about the woman but he couldn't place what exactly. Skipper narrowed his eyes at the two, one day he would uncover all the secrets surrounding Private Tux but until then he needed to keep an eye on the boy.

* * *

><p>Nigel moved swiftly through the crowd looking for Private. When he finally fount his nephew Nigel couldn't keep the bright smile from his face. It seems Red did find a way after all. Though he had to admit he never expected the Villain to wear a dress or as she called them "tents". Happy that the Russian didn't seem to notice him yet Nigel pulled out this camera and snapped a quickly picture of the duo.<p>

He'd have to hide the picture least Red finds out about it and tears both him and the photo to bits. Nigel pocketed his camera and smiled at the two. It was times lime this that made it hard to remember Red was Penguin Enemy Number One, a dangerous villain hell bent on controlling the world. It just wasn't possible to even consider it after seeing that smile on her face... not that Nigel would ever tell that to Red. He liked living thank you very much.


	31. Home Again

Red would never admit to it but she had missed her Son. She couldn't help but smile as she and Private worked on cleaning up the old Base that had served as their home so many years ago. All they needed now was the Count and it would be a full home again. Red had called up the retired villain, ready to argue her point bit there was no need.

_"Me and Private are at the Old Home, we want you to-"_

_"I'll be there in two hours."_

He cut on not even letting her finish asking. And true to his word, Count Victor von Sova arrived within two hours on the family's private jet. It took them only thirty minutes to settle the Mad Owl back into his old room and pretty soon, it was as if they had never left. Still, they all knew this couldn't last forever. Both villains knew that soon, Private- who had finally gotten his first true taste of solitude and aventure- would leave.

Yet Red and the Count refused to allow their minds to linger on the thought, when Private was ready to strike out on his own, they would do their best to support him and see to it that he knew how to survive the world:

_Sova Style._


	32. Private- Christmas Special

Private couldn't help but sigh as he watched his Mother and Grandfather rush around in attempts to decorate the Base. It was nice that they were getting into the holiday spirit except...

...well... they weren't exactly making the best choices on decorations. And that was putting it nicely. Grandfather was feathers while Mother hanged acorns and both would have been perfectly fine.. if that was all it was and not really weapons such as smoke-bombs, explosives, and sleeping glass containers.

The two just didn't seem to understand th st Christmas was about peace, love and care. Not a trap into luring them into a false sense of security so someone could attack them. Still, at least they were trying. Private would give the two credit for that.

* * *

><p>Red wasn't fond of crowded places yet here she was sitting in a dark crowded room, all so her son could watch grown men make fools of theirselves by pretending to be Lunacorns skating on ice. She felt utterly ridiculous just watching them and was tempted to blow the place sky high but Private seemed to enjoy it and that hundred watt smile make her suffering well worth it.<p>

* * *

><p>"Vodka!"<p>

"Whiskey!"

**"Vodka!"**

**"Whiskey!"**

"How about neither."

The two world renown villains froze before turning to the doorway. Private sighed as he stared at the two sheepish looking Villains and the bottles in their hands. Private crossed his arms over his chest and gave them a firm look.

"No one is spiking anything so go put those away. Now."

The two slumped and mumbled something as they left the kitchen. Once again Private sighed, he loved those two dearly but someone had to ensure they didn't do something utterly stupid.


	33. Buck Rockgut- Christmas Special

Buck Rockgut was used to spending holidays alone ever since the freak accident that had killed his old team so long ago. He sighed as he sat in his favorite chair and stared longingly at an old photo of the very last Christmas his team had spent together. Those had been the days, but now they were long gone and the only living proof of them ever happening was himself and his Arch Nemesis, The Red Squirrel. His sulking and longing for the old days were interrupted by a soft knock on his door.

At first he chose to Ingore the knock and hope it went away but it didnt.

Knock.

**Knock.**

**KNOCK! **

Finally he grew annoyed and climbed to his feet.

"I'm coming!"

Yes he was coming... coming to put his foot up someone's rear for disturbing him. He flung his door open only for his furious yell to due on his lips.

Standing in his doorway was an all too similar person dressed up at Santa Clause. The Russian smirked at him, that lone eye shining with mischief.

"Red, what the Hell are you doing in a Santa outfit?"

That smirk grew.

"Well if you must know, it's Christmas, so it seemed right to do it this way."

Slowly Red's words registered and his eyes narrowed.

"Do what? "

That smirk grew even more before Red chuckled softly.

"Oh nothing much... Just this "

Without so much as a warning, Buck Rockgut fount himself trapped inside the large red present bag, Red had been carrying. He could hear Red whistling as she Ingores his yells, struggles and threats.

* * *

><p>When Nigel arrived Red was out running a quick errand. The spy shook his head as he stared at the decorations and reached his hand into his own pocket. He had his own piece of decoration waiting just for Red. It was small but it would hopefully be able to help with his goal for the night. When Red finally arrived again, Nigel couldn't help but stare at the eyepatch wearing Santa with a large cursing back thrown over her shoulder. The voice from the bag was strangely similar, but surely Red wouldn't have gone to America solely for that...<p>

...oh, who wad he kiding? Of course she would. He watched Red lock the door before moving to the dinning roon and dumping her toy bag to the floor. A moment later, a familiar person was climbing out of the bag, crimson eyes glaring at the Russian Santa.

It seemed that Red had ideed dressed up as an eyepatch wearing Santa and flew to America on her family's private jet solely to kidnap Special Agent Buck Rockgut with a toy bag.

The very idea made Nigel laugh.

* * *

><p>Buck Rockgut stared in disbelief at his Arch Nemesis as she held out a chair at a table for him. Christmas dinner had already been set up and everyone else had fount their seats with no trouble at all. Now everyone was staring at him, waiting for him to sit among them. Slowly he sat down before Red pushed in his chair and took her own seat by the Count and her Son. It felt strange to be Siting there, having a true Christmas Dinner amongst other but at the same time it felt nice and soon every one had fallen into a pattern of happy smiles and friendly talking.<p>

He may not agree with how Red had done it, but he was thankful he wasn't spending Christmas alone for a change. Instead he was with the messed up group that made up his whacked up Family.


End file.
